Ladies: you are SINGLE until it’s agreed that you’re in an exclusive relationship. If you’re acting like his girlfriend, without that conversation actually happening, he will assume that you have staked a claim on him, and that you’re not going anywhere. You are locked down and he sees no reason to impress you or work at winning your affection. A real man doesn’t want to share you or have the leftovers of another man. And yes, real men share ladies.

If a man sees that he could potentially lose you to another man, he’ll get on point with lightning speed. Real men go after what they want. There is no “man-crisis”, excuse or obstacle that can keep them away. If he tells you that he does not want a relationship—believe him and move on. No man wants to lose an amazing woman because he didn’t step up and claim her. They share— I mean really share their self authentically. No bullshit.

They talk about the future—Not always 6 or 12 months down the road, but they are making future plans with you that are more than a couple of weeks away. They express an interest in changing your “free agency” status. They will tell you they enjoy spending time with you and have no interest in doing so with anyone else. He makes time. And no, a 3am booty call does not count as time spent. He shouldn’t be ditching his friends or family, but he will be making time for the two of you.

I mean dates you and not just asking you to hang out. Hanging out is for teenagers—not grown-ups. He communicates and tries to understand how you communicate as well. Men and women are hard-wired differently, so for a man to make this effort is outside of his biological make-up. A man that knows how you give and receive love is a keeper! He supports your goals and passions. No he doesn’t wave pom-poms and chant your name, but he recognizes your drive and promotes it.